Girl i am dating is still on match com

I disagree with the advice in this article. The guy HAS given her a reason to distrust him. He offered exclusivity, yet actively participates in an online dating community. When a person last logged in is public information. How transparent is that. Totally agree with you Moops. Trust is very hard and someone should give you reasons to trust! I agree with you Moops. I had been dating this guy I met online for 4 months. I told him I was taking down my match account.

He said he would also.

She was still on Match …

Not only did he not do that, he joined pof and meet me! I decided to still give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes he really said that! I said he was the one who was searching. Girls, stop the madness! I was honest with myself and realized I was only with him because I was lonely, and it is so hard to meet someone nice, but I was doing myself a disservice. Still trying to find the one…. This very thing happened to me. Wasted an entire year on this man. Gave him the benefit of the doubt in the name of trust and it was a bad decision.

Now I not only wasted a year but have spent six months trying to recover emotionally and am going back into the dating scene with less trust. If he is logging in…… he is looking or communicating and the bottom line is… you will never be able to trust him completely because this will always be in the back of your mind. A truly excellent reply. This article seems to expose a type of man that is rotten to the core and is capable of using women without any conscience. The whole interaction left me feeling sick to my stomach.

I completely agree that if someone is still checking dating sites after committing to someone then they are leaving options open,stroking their ego,or seeing you as for now person Its disrespectful and breaks trust not builds it. I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. We have gone out 3 times in two weeks, and have several dates already arranged for the coming week. We are both divorced and he has a child almost every weekend, so we typically do not see each other from Friday to Monday night.

I took my profile off the site because I believe it leads to hurt feelings and in my little mind, why make him not trust me. What I did was set up a bogus account and I can see he is on the site each day, even after we have gone out. He is on and off the site daily. There are times I have been on the phone with him or in the midst of sending a text back and forth when he is on the site. I really want to find out why men do this?

If they meet someone and apparently things are going well, so what is up with men who need to see or chat with other women? It was after telling him this that he asked me if I can go out with him on several days for the coming week. So what is up with men you meet online and how they still log in and show chat venue open. I have been going through a similar situation and would really appreciate the feedback on here.

Im 24 yrs old and im very attractive and have never been in a real relationship and crave that part of my life with someone special. I have been on the online dating scene for 3 yrs and have been on sooooooo many dates and havent found anyone who I am remotely interested in until 3 and a half months ago.

When it comes to me and dating I think I have the worst luck and i cant even get past the 3rd date with someone so I am always walking on pins and needles each time. But here is my situation:. He first told me that he wasnt looking for anything super super serious and i said well lets take it slow and see where it leads to.

He was always treating me like i was his gf and i met one of his close friends and he took me and my sis and his friend out for dinner. I never had any guy treat me like that. This guy always mentions me to his neighbors and friends but we dont have a label on it. He also talks about personal stuff with him and his whole family and i really thought we were connecting. I also attempted to lose my virginity to him. I never told him i was a virgin the whole time and then it just came out and he was at first mad but then he understood where i was coming from and i kept asking him if he was ok with me not being experienced and he said he was.

But always in the back of my mind it has been bothering me that i am inexperienced because he has been around the block and would leave me for someone who is great in the bedroom. I am alsooo very very shy around him because i like him sooo much and i feel sooo out of place even when doing stuff in the bedroom. I just cant seem to snap out of being scared and shy when im with him. Recently i just went on match and saw he was active within 24 hrs and im like wtfff. I feel sooo played but i dont wanna jump to conclusions and he hasnt contacted me in 2 days and im feeling like he wants to find someone who is way more experienced than i am.

But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. Its sooo strange cause we started hanging out together times a week recently and he just cant stop staring at me at every moment wen im with him. Im sooo scared to lose this guy and dont know what to think right now. All my friends that I ask think he is playing me and i dont know if i should even listen to anyone because everyone can have their different reasons. Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes.

Yes, suspicion can destroy a relationship if it is unfounded. But sometimes suspicion is justified. Hana, this guy is looking around while enjoying you and wonderful qualities. Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say A girlfriend or boyfriend can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways — if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, etc…..

This girl is just going to get hurt.

She should leave the guy ASAP. The majority of these guys that get on these dating sites especially Match never get off. Many of them are not serious and they are addicted to Match and other dating sites. I realized after 4 months of being on Match that this was not the venue to use to meet someone if you are interested in a serious long-term relationship. At some point they are going to get back on. Women would be better off meeting a guy in a traditional setting through work, a friend, museum, whatever. Syndrome … Newness- Grass is Greener Syndrome.

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An addiction to online dating, even if you have a significant other.. Sorry, but I disagree. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites — and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does. Sorry, but he HAS given this girl a reason to distrust him. This same thing happened to me — met a guy on eHarmony. Within a month we felt pretty serious about each other and I asked him if we could agree to be exclusive, including unsubscribing to any dating sites. But 4 months later, I found out he was still on eHarmony but told me he was just on there for fun, changing some information but not conversing with anyone.

Two months later he was on Match. Two years later I found out he was still filling out profiles. By then, I was a mess. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone. Please move on, for the good of your mind and heart. This article is spot on. It was never because of her, it was simply because the suspicion kept eating away at me until I brought it up. Rather than saying anything, I simply ignore it.

Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. When dating online it is imperative you remain open and honest. I met a handsome guy on pof. We BOTH made a conscious decision to delete our profiles and be exclusive. I kept feeling this uneasiness about him. That is a very unsettling way to feel. My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year and we met on meet me. He asked me out and we were together ever since.

I deleted my account and I asked him to delete him, which he said he did. However, I was feeling something was going on that I did not know about and so I checked his email which i should not have done and I saw some messages that were from meet me. However, it was not from his real account.

He had created a fake one. It still has all of his pictures. I logged on to it because he gave me his passwords to things and I figured it was the same one.

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He only talks to girls on there; however, there is nothing like they are meeting up or hooking up at all. He will say hey and talk for about five minutes and then the convo is done. I stopped checking his personal accounts and email after we got in a big fight about whether he was cheating on me or not. I never felt right about checking it anyway. I thought it was great because he must have stopped after our convo. However, i checked again today if he had been on, and it said he had three days ago.

I am not one to stay in relationships where i am not the main focus, but over a year? That is so many invest feelings. I have no idea what to do. I av friends who always text me i do reply but not with love, i want to ask wat will i do to love someone, and if you can give me the match. Thanks so much, I really appreciated your comment.

Eric, I feel like your post sends out a very sad message to women. You get butterflies and your heart pounds when you see me. You and I have only been dating a short time but the potential is there. We see each other times per week.

You ask for exclusivity and I give this to you. A week later you log onto to Match. So please enlighten me, what does that story look like? We live in different cities but have seen each other almost every weekend except two. This friend since added me on facebook and so has his housemate.

He was also kissing me in front of them too. We were on his laptop and I was on youtube. He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs. I managed to close the tab I was on by mistake and when I opened what I thought was the right one I found it was his dating website profile. However I knew of the website and I was able to see his profile when I got home.

He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. Any advice welcome thanks! I understand what this girl is going through. Also, it can all backfire on you.

I also suggest getting yourself tested. The fact of the matter is this kind of thing is a real life concern, not just for fear of being played but for your health and safety.

Since we agreed to be exclusive, how do you feel about this? Relax and be willing to accept the truth whatever it may be. If you leave the question open ended he has room to answer whichever way while knowing that you were simply considering what do with yours. If anything, it will clarify what this term means for each of you..

I am sorry to be negative here, but I dated a guy for three months that I met online…I noticed that his profile was still active and often he was checking it daily…I wanted to trust him so I did…I confronted him about it, but said that I trusted him and wanted him to take his profile down because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. I found out he was dating multiple people yes, and sleeping with all of us , all from the online dating site.

Here are my thoughts: For any "responsible" parent, that is a big move to make and not to be taken likely. Introducing your kids to someone should mean that he has considerable feelings regarding where the relationship is going and comfortable enough to introduce you to his family. But still checking out the OLD site? He may be curious too. Well, maybe that's the case for him. He's looking, but not taking it any further. Another possibility is that he has the OLD app on his phone. Unless you make a concerted effort, it is logged on continuously.

It doesn't mean that he is checking it though. For now, actions speak louder than words, though you do need to have the exclusivity talk. Is it true that he is with you during all his free time? I would start worrying if his demeanor, contact time with you changes so as to possibly accommodate dating others. I have a 5 and 9 year old also. My woman and I have dated for 6 weeks, and are exclusive. We met on Match. After our 1st date, I decided on my own that I was done searching.

She raised the bar so high that I honestly couldn't imagine being attracted to anyone else. So I cancelled my account, and told her. After our 2nd date, it was clear that we wanted to be together and develop our relationship, so she cancelled her account the following morning, and she told me. I think the key is communicate what you expect. If you two have different expectations, you are not on the same page.

If you assume exclusivity means not being active on Match, then you have to make sure he assumes the same. I too am still receiving daily matches via email for some reason, even though I cancelled my account. Here is something else to consider The smartphone app for Match basically keeps you online or refreshes daily, so it can appear that he's logged on within 24 hours even though he didn't. Originally Posted by Phantom Mmm, it honestly doesn't sound good. He might be curious to see what's out there, but he should be focused on you right now! I've done the fake profile thing, and turned out he actually replied, but it was no surprise as I knew he was a player from the beginning.

She was still on Match - Love

There is no reason for him to still go online if he wants something serious with you. Talk to him, and admit you saw him online. I don't know what excuse he can make, honestly. The other person will then distance themseves more - widening the gap. It might help put your level of investment on par with his so your relationship can develope at a healthy pace and at the very least - soften the fall should Mr Right not live up to the name. If he thinks you're picking out china sets already, he will be outta there.

Be prepared for answers you might not like. Keep in mind that while you're looking to get hitched like yesterday, he may see that as quite a ways off. Sweetie, take my hard won advice: This happened to me and there I was saying to myself "I will play no games, I will let him know exactly how much I like him, I will be completely upfront" and feeling all honest and free of guile.

But I'm pretty sure I just freaked the guy out. It turns out there's a reason for all those stupid coy games girls play. I'm not telling you to follow the Rules or turn into Miss Ridiculously Hard To Get or anything, but early in a relationship, men can be a little skittish and you don't have to heap a load of pressure on him.

I need to do a chargeback Adam Rice has it--it could be anything, from harmless to malevolent. I am ten years happily married, but occasionally browse the personal ads in the back of the alternative weeklies. I don't see it as having anything to do with me, but just harmless voyeurism, the exact same thing that makes people read advice columns or this thread!

Or he could be keeping his options open. Or, or, or, or, or A month is way too early for either of you to have any claims on the other's behavior. But it may be time for the "where are we going" talk. Don't come off as jealous or insecure, but as serious. I wouldn't bring up the online dating site at all in this conversation. Get over your trust issues first by not checking up on him at Match. The question is what are you doing on Match. Maybe he has the same questions when he looks at your profile and see that you are active within the last 24 hours.

A month isn't a long time for a relationship. I was still going on dates with another woman after starting to get definite feelings for my current GF. Sometimes it is a difficult choice between two women. If you are serious about him, don't give Mr. Right a reason to question the feelings he has for you. If you've got an explicitly exclusive relationship, then he's probably out of bounds rubbernecking as a possible exception.

Otherwise, it's one month in and he's still maintaining an awareness of the rest of the world, which is a sound practice for someone in an early, developing, nascent relationship, which is what you have. I think exclusive long-term relationships are a goal, not a starting point. To everyone who pointed out it was the previous Mr. Wrong who dismissed the behavior as harmless flirting: You're right, and I should learn to read. I still think it's unlikely he's just doing it for laughs, though.

I've been in a relationship for a year, I pop in to the personals every so often in the office if I'm bored. I wouldn't consider getting in touch with anyone, let alone seeing anyone. Your bloke's behaviour could be dodgy but it could be perfectly innocent and it's quite possible you're getting yourself worked up over nothing.

We - and probably you - don't have enough information to know what the motivation is. Ditto the people who keep telling you that a month is NOT a long time and especially in the online dating world when you're meeting complete strangers, regardless of what the online dating process is. Even though YOU may assume that your relationship getting physical equals your relationship becoming exclusive, HE may not assume the same thing.

Different people have different ideas about what defines a relationship. Unless you've had "the talk" about being in an exclusive relationship, you should not assume that he owes you anything. I met my boyfriend on okcupid, and I've been with him for over a year. I still sometimes sign on, just to see what's going on. It may mean absolutely nothing.

More importantly, if you're worried that you want to be exclusive and he doesn't, maybe it's time to have that talk. I've been in a relationship for the past two years, and I think it took me several months to finally decide to change my relationship status on MySpace and Friendster. It not that I wasn't committed to the relationship; it's just that one month isn't that long. My feeling was that it would've been pretty sad and embarrasing to change my status and then not have the relationship work out in another month or so.

I think most people are still in wait-and-see mode at one month. Dating sites are, like other forms of entertainment, designed to be mildly addictive. From my own experience, I find myself occasionally logging in just to browse around, even though I am in a deeply committed and satisfying relationship. I don't think it's much different from looking at girls on the street. As the saying goes, you can still look at the menu even if you're on a diet.

Seriously, the fact that he logged into the site is not an indication at all that he's looking for another woman. You are overreacting, as mentioned above, there are plenty of reasons people log into these sites. I hope you don't even mention it to him, because he's going to think you're psycho. Maybe he reads the forums asssuming they have them - I'm not a member, but I know some some dating sites do.

Those forums can be strangely addictive As stated above, it seems that while you're ready to be exclusive, he may not be. If you haven't had the explicit discussion about going exclusive, you shouldn't really be ascribing negative or suspicious motives to his online activity However, if he's still going onto dating sites after you've mutually decided to date each other exclusively, that's an entirely different matter that would totally justify your Ask.

Oh, one last thought. Perhaps he's going on to remember little details about you. Favorite whatever, or whatever you wrote. Good points all around, and just what I needed to compete with the scared little girl part of me. ALL of my friends are married and have been for years and there's no one who would "get" this whole situation AND be brave enough to tell me honestly what they think. Perhaps I am a little more emotionally invested than him. The fact that I did it at all a couple of days ago bothered me as much as the fact that his status showed "Active. I am trying to maintain enough awareness to negate stupidity on my part - without jumping to conclusions.

Potential see - I listen! Except going on Match, which confused me at best and freaked the hell out of me at worst. I seem to be the one setting limits e. Maybe I need to do more of that. You boys do love the chase, right? I think I'll chill out for a couple more weeks and see how things go, then have a conversation about making sure we're on the same page.

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